Wilderness

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Hout Bay has taken up a tradition, consider the last Thursday of each month a cause for celebration. The relative stillness of Winter's months made for a warming experience - other factors too, still, I stand by. I was due to leave at 5am, 2 days warning - hardly time to adjust my circadian rhythm [not that I would have]. The fear of missing my 4:45 cigarette kept me awake, worth it - I focussed on being an upbeat passenger, rather than sleep.

 

The ocean air revived me, to some extent - at which point I was introduced to an ecstatic and engaging woman, who would make our fourth companion. A short while later we were balanced beneath a cliff face, paying some regard to a soothing waterfall and snacking on a small bag of nuts - then took the canoes between steep krags coated with indigenous forest [saw a kingfisher]. It was a little ridiculous - only able to appreciate the beauty from a rational perspective, my emotions entirely disengaged.

 

This didn't change much throughout the trip - very much unlike me, I was up at 8am. The ocean, lulling me to sleep had played a part - though an inherent anxiety, my role as a mediator, was more to blame. In another sense, I appreciate a challenge - the experience in all was profoundly healing, to myself and others.

 

"I am thankful, both because I should be - though too, because I am"

 

I am committed to return, not once, not twice - but as much as lies within reason. It is an escape, those who live there effectively have - of which they seem to remain acutely aware, aware that they wish to remain unaware [for however long]. She expressed this to me in a way I could adopt, a temporary state - to which one may choose to return. A deep, unyielding love - akin to fervour.